Fire Free Day
by ColdFusion180
Summary: And now for something almost different: a fire-themed story that isn't about Pyro.


**Fire-Free Day**

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Magneto shouted while frantically trying to extinguish the multiple blazes raging throughout the fire-enshrouded Control Room. "HOW THE HECK DID THAT FLAME-BRAINED LUNATIC MANAGE TO REPLACE ALL THE WATER IN THE FIRE SUPPRESSION SYSTEM WITH TAPIOCA PUDDING?!"

"Hehehehehe!" Pyro giggled as he happily skipped around using his powers and feeding the flames. "Who's a little fire who wants to grow up big and hot? Yes you do! Yes you do!"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Mastermind screamed as he ran around being chased by a pair of very large fire bulls. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"WAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Sabertooth ran by the burning doorway while completely drenched in flames. "YEEEOOOWWW! I'M ON FIRE! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!"

"In here!" Remy and Piotr burst in wielding fire extinguishers and immediately began spraying the room. "Look out! Don't forget the ceiling!"

"It's all in my mind! The flames are not real!" Mastermind curled up in a corner wailing to himself as the fires raged closer. "It's all in my mind! The flames are not real...GAAAHHHHHH!"

"YOU CURSED FLAMES!" Magneto roared as he desperately attempted to smother the inferno. "WHY OH WHY WON'T YOU GO OUT?!"

"Go out? Good idea!" Pyro chirped. "I bet there're all kinds of new stuff to burn outside the base! See ya!" He happily skipped away.

"Well that's one way to get rid of the problem," Remy gasped as he Piotr worked to quickly put out the remaining flames. "Go and inflict it on someone else!"

"Too bad Magneto did not suggest that an hour ago," Piotr sighed as he sprayed fire foam over the walls. "It would have saved us a lot of work fire dousing and chasing after Pyro."

"Die flames..." Magneto wobbled towards them with a nervous twitch and a glazed look in his eyes. "Bad flames...evil flames...must kill flames..."

"Whoa, easy there Mags," Remy held up his hands. "It's okay. All the bad, evil flames have been smothered and put out."

"Put out?" Magneto blinked, snapping out of his daze.

"Yes," Piotr said as he finished extinguishing the room.

"Thank goodness!" Magneto gasped and braced himself against the charred remains of a wall. "I thought the fires would never go away! I've almost forgotten what it's like to **not** be enveloped in an inferno. I can hear again! I can **breathe** again! I can..." A strange look came over his face. "_I can see clearly now, the flames are gone! Every conflagration has gone away!_"

"Huh?" Piotr looked at Magneto in surprise.

"Oh boy," Remy whistled. "Looks like Mags has finally burned out what's left of his mind. Or what passed for it."

Magneto ignored them and staggered out into the middle of the room. "_Gone are the raging flares that seared my mind!_" He let out a crazed, maniacal laugh. "_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_"

"What?" Mastermind croaked as he crawled out from the corner and looked up at Magneto in hope. "What did you say?"

"_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_" Magneto sang happily.

"Really? Yay!" Mastermind whooped and sprang to his feet in joy. He began to do a little jig. "_I think I can make it now, the pain is gone! All of the bad blazes have disappeared!_"

"That's not the only thing that's disappeared," Remy quipped. "So have what's remained of Mags' and Mastermind's brains."

"You have to admit, they are pretty good," Piotr bopped his head to the beat.

"_Here is that rainbow I've been praying for!_" Mastermind giggled and made one appear overhead using his powers. "_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_"

"It also looks like it's going to be a **sanity**-free day," Remy watched as Mastermind hopped around the room

"Is there any other kind?" Piotr asked giving him a look.

"_Look all around, there's not a flame in sight!_" Magneto smiled and grandly spread his arms gesturing at what remained of the Control Room. "_Look all around, nothing's set alight!_"

"Nothing is right," Piotr commented gazing around them. "Nothing useful, nothing intact, nothing but a mess..."

"Hey, at least we get some entertainment out of it," Remy smirked.

"_I can see clearly now, the flames are gone!_" Magneto and Mastermind sang happily as they linked arms and danced around the room in joy. "_Nothing but cool breezes from here on in! Gone is the maniac that's plagued my life! It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_"

"Gahhh!" Sabertooth stumbled into the room belching smoke while covered head to toe in soot. His once blond hair was singed almost beyond recognition. "Is it over?"

"Yep," Remy nodded. "The fires are out and the Crazy One has left the building."

"_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_" Magneto and Mastermind sang out.

"Now if only the **other** crazy ones would leave as well," Piotr sighed.

"Really?" Sabertooth blinked. "Alright!" He gave a big grin and threw back his head in delight. "_I think I can make it now, the pain is gone!_" He held up his healed arms in elation. "_All of the charred tissue has been restored!_"

"Oh my. There goes another one," Piotr blinked as Sabertooth skipped over to join Magneto and Mastermind.

"Well, looks like there's only one thing to do," Remy said and began typing on the surprisingly intact control board. "Make sure the surveillance cameras are working and get all their actions on tape!"

"I will second that," Piotr smiled.

"_Fires and flaming_ _creatures are no more!_" Sabertooth ignored them and continued to laugh about in joy. "_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_"

"_Look all around, there's not a flame in sight!_" The three elder Acolytes sang happily while merrily dancing around the room in bliss. "_Look all around, there're only Acolytes!_"

"I have to admit, what they are saying makes a lot of sense," Piotr fidgeted slightly. "I do not suppose you want too...?" He gestured towards the others.

"Well," Remy thought for a moment. "Oh, what the heck. Let's go!"

"Okay," Piotr agreed as they jumped in and joined their teammates.

"_I can see clearly now, the flames are gone!_" All the Acolytes sang and danced around in unison. "_Every conflagration has gone away!"_

"Hey mates!" Pyro appeared in the doorway. "I forgot to ask if any you blokes wanted to come with me and have fun setting fire to...huh?"

"_Gone are the raging flares that seared my mind!_" Magneto laughed maniacally while swaying about. "_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_"

"_It's gonna be a nice, nice, nice, nice fire-free day!_" The other Acolytes cheered and danced about.

"Never mind," Pyro turned around and walked away. "Boy I tell ya, it ain't easy living with these wackos!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or the song "I Can See Clearly Now".**


End file.
